Pre-marital Counselling
Approaching a committed relationship with a deeper understanding of your yourselves and your relationship can be extremely helpful. Knowing your relational style, how you do conflict and why and then knowing how to repair after one of those inevitable arguments are all important keys to a successful marriage. This type of counselling is ideal for couples already living together or dating couples preparing for marriage.
Of course most people are happily in their couple bubble at the time they have decided to marry and do not see the point of spending precious dollars on pre-marital counselling when you are about to spend a significant amount on your dream wedding and honeymoon not to mention saving for a house deposit. If this is you then I understand exactly where you are coming from. The solution:- I recommend you purchase and read together one of the following books.
· Hold Me Tight by Susan Johnson
· An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples by Jennifer Fitzgerald & Veronica Kallos-Lily
This way you can learn about relationships and the key to their success at your own pace and convenience then if you would like an appointment or two to ensure you get maximum value out of the book we can easily arrange that.
For more information on premarital counselling, to book an appointment or just chat about where you are at and what is best for you please get in touch, I would be happy to assist you.
See conversation starters below….
Conversations starters for Couples Contemplating Moving in or Marriage
Every family has its own thoughts, experiences, emotions and values and these make up the unique culture of each family. We each represent the family we grew up in but by melding together what we each bring from our first families and their cultures, by deciding what to keep and what to leave behind helps us to create our own unique family culture. The more we create this new culture with purpose and intention the more success we are likely to experience.
Use these conversation starters to share what is important to each of you:
Do we really listen to each other openly and fairly with consideration to what the other is saying. Or are we already thinking about our responses while the other is talking.
Do we like and respect each other's friends?
Should we have children, if so who will care for them? Should they go to child care? If so, at what age? Should they attend a school of religion, public or private? Are you both open to being a stay at home parent?
Do we have a clear understanding of each other's spiritual beliefs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious education?
Do we value and respect each other's parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
What are our financial positions, are we on the same page about saving, spending, prioritising buying a house, purchasing new cars, furniture or white goods or going on holidays?
Have you discussed how your financial affairs will be managed ie shared bank accounts, credit card use, home loan.
What traditions or rituals, are important to us and how do we celebrate them? ie birthdays, Christmas.
When do we include our extended families?
What does domestic bliss look like, statistics say women do most of the domestic chores despite also working. Fast forward a few years, is there a fair division of labour in your home?
Will there be a TV in the bedroom? And what about mobile phones and laptops? Do they have a time and place in your home routine?
Are there some things that you and I will not give up?